We’re not averse to talking about bad music here. There’s enough of it that goes around, and ignoring that really wouldn’t be doing due diligence to paint a whole picture of what’s going on within the musical landscape. And while we’ve often pooled the very worst together in our year-end lists, we’re doing it a bit differently this time.
For the inaugural edition of The Soundboard Awards, we present the losers of 2025. This is all the worst stuff; the most disappointing releases; the bafflingly horrible choices that couldn’t have been vetted by anyone of sound mind; and, generally, anything noteworthily bad that this year has p
THE ‘SURPRISINGLY TERRIBLE’ AWARD
The Devil Wears Prada – Flowers
In hindsight, the writing should’ve been on the wall for this one when guitarist Kyle Sipress came out about “learning some of the new songs” after not being involved in making them. Then again, it doesn’t feel like the majority of The Devil Wears Prada were involved in Flowers. It’s actually somewhat impressive how one of metalcore’s more reputable names sidestepped any procedure when it comes to selling out, instead just flooding it all in at once and seeming so much worse. Dull, underfed pop-metal is the antithesis of The Devil Wears Prada (not even just at their best), and yet, between barely-there wisps of songs and Mike Hranica reduced to a cameo within his own band, that’s Flowers by default. No one sincerely likes this album, and the fact it’ll define The Devil Wears Prada for the next couple of years is almost insulting. • LN
THE ‘NOT-IN-THE-SLIGHTEST-BIT-SURPRISINGLY TERRIBLE’ AWARD
Memphis May Fire – Shapeshifter
Hi, Memphis May Fire—fancy seeing you here… Look, it doesn’t need to be said by now that Memphis May Fire are past it, but their combination of wherewithal to stick around and disinterest in advancing is what’s turned them into the punching bag that they are. Shapeshifter is no different, despite its hilarious title that insinuates any kind of newness whatsoever. Instead, it’s the same metalcore tripe that’s been pumped out by Memphis May Fire for ages, almost to the point of indistinguishability now. It’s dull; it’s dreary; it’s absolutely not what ‘heavy’ music should sound like in 2025; and most damningly of all, it’s the norm for Memphis May Fire. At this point, they need to either put significant effort into looking as though they actually care, or give up. Given their track record, one would be much more likely and preferable than the other. • LN
THE ‘ALSO NOT-IN-THE-SLIGHTEST-BIT-SURPRISINGLY TERRIBLE’ AWARD
I Prevail – Violent Nature
With Brian Burkheiser recently christening another project with a humiliating Taylor Swift cover, you might think that he was the cause of I Prevail’s suckage all along. But, nope; Violent Nature proves that it’s unilateral, even without him there. Here’s another dogshit album of dogshit metalcore that’s basically gone unchanged since their dogshit debut, more proof if it were needed (it wasn’t) that I Prevail’s size and stature is totally undeserved. Anything imaginative or exciting never gets even a breath in its general direction, as Violent Nature proudly parades its own stagnation while completely ignoring how incompetent that makes I Prevail look. Thus—as is the case whenever they release something new—their shit-list space is warm and ready for them. • LN
DISAPPOINTMENT OF THE YEAR
Taylor Swift – The Life Of A Showgirl
Well, it happened. The tail-end of the year saw Taylor Swift’s years-long victory lap come to a screeching halt after promising a succinct record of pop bangers and delivering The Life Of A Showgirl, a muddled, inconsistent and sometimes sinister look into (apparently) the person behind the persona. It’s a supposedly fun pop album with hardly any joyful moments, plus a noticeable dip in quality writing in favour of more out-of-touch lines. Lots of the issues could’ve been ironed out with a bit more rumination—Ruin The Friendship could’ve been saved for a future singer-songwriter album instead of sticking out like a sore thumb here and Wood could’ve been tailored more to Swift rather thanclearly trying to emulate Sabrina Carpenter’s overt euphemisms. There’s a solid foundation of an album in The Life Of A Showgirl, but it’s far from the standard Taylor Swift has set for herself. • GJ
FURTHEST FREEFALL
Hands Like Houses – ATMOSPHERICS
When a band releases an album like this, you almost wish they’d just end it. Sure, Hands Like Houses’ last couple of Trenton Woodley-fronted albums had lost a bit of the luster of Ground Dweller or Unimagine, but the intent was still there. ATMOSPHERICS, then, sees the band now helmed by The Faim’s Josh Raven with every bit of personality they’d ever so much as glanced in the general direction of eviscerated. They’re just another one of these post-hardcore bands now—greyscale; purposeless; devoid of ideas; without a doubt unable to hold focus over 16 tracks; and so far removed from the intelligent, distinct band that Hands Like Houses were, they might as well not even exist anymore. If there’s anything to salvage from this incarnation in future, it’ll be a genuine miracle. • LN
WORST SONG
Drake, PARTYNEXTDOOR & Chino Pacas – Meet Your Padre
If we were to give Drake some much-needed career advice after being humiliated in front of the world last year, it’s that he started this one in a great position to take some risks. Everyone’s laughing at you? Experiment—best case scenario is that something works and blows everyone away, worst case, you’ve tried and can maintain some artistic credibility. He tried somewhat—nestled in the middle of his entirely bland and awfully named Some Sexy Songs 4 U album with PARTYNEXTDOOR was Meet Your Padre, yet another cynical attempt at winning over the música urbana crowd that is entirely passionless. Tasteful flamenco guitar and handclaps provide the backdrop for Drake’s farcical Spanglish, cosplaying respectful king meeting his lover’s “padres” before immediately telling her to bring her friends to his “casa”, presumably not for a debrief about her mum’s roast dinner. Mexican singer Chino Pacas acts as wingman in borderline unlistenable fashion, the damage done by the time we reach PARTYNEXTDOOR’s horn-garnished closing section that actually has a semblance of effort. Meet Your Padre is the latest in a long line of failures for Drake, but at least we get some jajajas out of this one. • GJ
MOST SUCCESSFUL PROMOTIONAL CAMPAIGN [DEROGATORY]
PRESIDENT – King Of Terrors
You won’t find Sleep Token on here because, despite representing the apogee of pop-metal’s commercial shamelessness masquerading as high art, there’s at least AN idea somewhere in there. Their little vestigial tumour, though? They deserve no such grace. You can barely call PRESIDENT a ‘band’ in the first place, after all, seeing as they’re only here to be sold. They’re a product without even a purpose, and a frankly disgusting number of mouths hungry for a dollop of flavourless gruel have been suckered in by it. And in the bigger picture, it’s hard to know what’s worse—that so many people apparently lack self-awareness AND self-respect in this capacity, or that a nugget of alt-metal junk whose defining feature is its frontman wearing a horrid rubber mask is the killing blow to any notion of meritocracy in music. This is a single step above AI music in worth; at least PRESIDENT (presumably) has a human component. • LN
FAILED PR MOVE OF THE YEAR
Will Smith – Based On A True Story
What’s the best way to rehabilitate a disgraced Oscar and Grammy winner? Remind people of why they loved you in the first place, of course! Based On A True Story (Will Smith’s first album in 20 years) was apparently born from authentic creative expression but feels like a self-contained press tour, Smith monologuing about personal growth and resilience in your darkest times (read: slapping someone on the stage of the biggest awards show in the film calendar) via the medium of ‘sermons’ and rap that’s as hard-hitting as a Kidz Bop album. He’s ticking off topics from a PR-mandated checklist, even releasing the awful Pretty Girls months later after realising he forgot to make a Gettin’ Jiggy With It-esque party-starter to include. This album would still be a flop if you couldn’t see the cogs turning, but it’s a sad show of narcissism when Smith could’ve just let future work of actual quality speak for itself. • GJ
“ACTUALLY, IT’S SATIRE” OF THE YEAR
Jessie Murph – 1965
The 2020s go-to move when explaining an out-of-touch lyrical clanger is to claim ‘satire’—Katy Perry, Lorde and Taylor Swift have all gone on record in recent years to say listeners just weren’t understanding their work instead of acknowledging fatal flaws. The latest in this line was Jessie Murph, whose song 1965 came under fire for romanticising toxic (even violent) relationships and traditional gender roles. While in this case the song does poke fun at something (which is more than can be said for Woman’s World) it’s done poorly, relying on ragebaiting rather than having something even relatively potent to say in itself. It’s probably a given that Murph wouldn’t actually prefer “slap-slap” over not being “hit on Snapchat”, but surely she can make points in a song better than this. • GJ
LEAST HAPPY TO BE HERE
A Day To Remember – Big Ole Album Volume 1
Whether you’re a listener or actually in A Day To Remember itself, you aren’t getting enjoyment from Big Ole Album Volume 1. If you’re a fan, another inflexible slab of Octane-core from this band is the last thing you’d want after You’re Welcome eroded all confidence in one fell swoop. If you’re in A Day To Remember, your baseline impetus for this album seems to be tripling down on what your fans don’t want to seemingly get your own back, rather than indulging in any creative fulfillment. By the end, what emerges is an improvement on its predecessor by sheer happenstance. It certainly isn’t because the petty biting-back is any more endearing or effective; if anything, it feels further below A Day To Remember than ever before. This was one of the most influential bands in the scene, remember, now resorting to slumming it in order to keep their corporate overlords fat and happy. And for how much the ‘physical first’ release gimmick backfired given the underperforming chart positions, even they’ve probably got their heads in their hands. • LN
MOST UNNECESSARY ANNIVERSARY EDITION
Imagine Dragons – Reflections (From The Vault Of Smoke + Mirrors)
Seeing your favourite albums from your teens and early 20s reach 10th and 15th birthdays is an unfortunate reminder of ageing, and though it provided a space to celebrate our formative years, artists have cottoned on to the fact that there’s money to be made in celebrating their past projects. This really shows when things like Reflections are pushed out—off-cuts from one of the most boring Imagine Dragons albums (a band known for their hilariously overblown nature) that sits between their two most successful projects. Nothing on here sticks in the mind enough to warrant even one ‘vault’ song’s release, never mind 13, and the fact Imagine Dragons have opted to note every single one with ‘demo’ shows that they don’t even think so either. Hopefully Evolve’s vault (which will surely see the light of day in 2027) will provide a few more giggles than this. • GJ
MOST GRUELLING ENDURANCE TEST
Morgan Wallen – I’m The Problem
Here’s a perspective that not many seem to take—even if you don’t like it, there is a place for music like this. Music can work when it’s visibly nasty and bitter and often outright toxic if it’s played the right way, which Morgan Wallen can do. The issue is, when you’re up to your third feature-length version of it in a row, it becomes one hell of a chore to sit through. And in its lane of greasy, overworked modern country with a microscopic amount of intent for putting its double-album length to good use, I’m The Problem drags on forever, to the point where you actively start to curse its existence. A bare cutting-room floor was clearly in this album’s creation, given that not a single crumb of filler has been excised, and Wallen’s terminal voice and his obsession with sourness above all else find the experience rocket pass ‘unpleasant’ into something far more nauseating. By the time the ordeal is over, even the most open-minded listener will wish to never hear anything like this ever again. • LN
MOST PERPLEXINGLY PRAISED
Killswitch Engage – This Consequence
To this day, this writer struggles to believe that the praise for This Consequence wasn’t intended for a different album by mistake. Anything emphasising its heaviness or ferocity dissipates on impact when you hear Killswitch Engage at their most lifeless and impotent. It really is shocking how far they’ve fallen, once among the cream of the 2000s metalcore crop reduced to something this shabby and forgettable. The necessity of Killswitch Engage has been trending downwards for some time now, but This Consequence is the first time they’ve truly lost it. A bad, bare, hollowed-out album from a band (and critical set) who should know far better. • LN
‘SO BAD IT’S (ALMOST) GOOD’ OF THE YEAR
Benson Boone – Mystical Magical
Benson Boone’s existence as a musician shouldn’t be as fascinating as it is. As one of the founders of ‘Voice audition pop’ much of his material lives firmly in snoozefest territory, but he has just enough notable moments to make his Spandex-wearing, backflipping persona make sense. Mystical Magical saw Boone move ever-closer to his goal of becoming Freddie Mercury, a by-the-numbers pop song descending into whimsical falsettos that aren’t quite as try-hard as they are on Beautiful Things, but a lot funnier. Don’t get us wrong, it’s an incredibly annoying track, but the ridiculous “moonbeam, ice cream, taking off your blue jeans” refrain is so catchy that it comes very close to rehabilitating the whole thing. • GJ
LEAST EXCITING PIVOT
Magnolia Park – VAMP
It was a toss-up between this and Set It Off’s terrible self-titled album here, but at the end of the day, the benefit of no grand expectations is what rescue Set It Off. Magnolia Park, on the other hand, felt like a pop-punk band who could go places, if for no other reason than packing the sort of hooks that could brute-force their way there. And with VAMP, for whatever reason, they crashed and burned. They turned themselves nu-metal, in the process uncovering how gaping their limitations are, and turned out the most unflattering portrayal of themselves by a huge margin. None of this feels fresh or exciting, and certainly doesn’t read as a band looking to forward their legacy. Maybe its ‘concept’ would do more there, if it didn’t feel like lip service paid to the idea of a bigger, grander release that VAMP itself has no clue how to inhabit. The end result is a painfully underwhelming and misguided album that—wouldn’t you know?—appears to be doing the most commercially for Magnolia Park yet. Terrific… • LN
“OKAY DAD, LET’S GET YOU TO BED”
Olly Murs – Knees Up
In maybe the most unexpected move of 2025, Olly Murs put out a ska album. No, really. It’s Madness and The Specials meets relentless market stall trader who won’t stop following you around until it ends in a sale or a punch in the face, sold with the energy of Dad letting loose at a christening, beer in hand, tie around head, awkward dance moves on full display. It’s entirely plausible that this is genuinely the music Murs wants to make, but the uphill battle of selling ska to the live, laugh, love crowd might end in going back to the drawing board sooner rather than later. • GJ
MOST PITIABLE
Dark Chapel – Spirit In The Glass
If you don’t know what this is, no one would blame you. Barely a soul has even spoken about this thing since it came out, despite Dario Lorina’s decade-plus service as a guitarist in Black Label Society. Granted, that does put him in direct competition with Zakk Wylde in the side-project game, and given that Dark Chapel sound as though its contributors are all on their respective deathbeds, it’s not doing a lot. At least Spirit In The Glass’ failure is restricted to it just sounding awful—imagine Alice In Chains shuffling and wheezing through their unfinished B-sides—but that’s enough. You don’t need controversy or divisive extracurricular antics when borderline-amateurish music from someone who should know far better drags you down enough. • LN
‘HOW DID WE GET HERE?’ MOMENT OF THE YEAR
FLETCHER – Boy
This summer saw a sighworthy discourse rear its head—after multiple famous LGBTQ+ women publicly entered relationships with men, some sapphic fans staged an uprising. Biphobia-drenched accusations of ‘queerbaiting’ and ‘going back into the closet’ were rife, completely missing the fact that the people being discussed aren’t fictional characters whose plots they can change by complaining, and that they’re all probably figuring out their sexualities like many ‘regular’ folks are. Singer Fletcher addressed this on single Boy, a statement about the shame she felt in revealing her unexpected relationship with a man, correctly predicting the disappointment she’d be on the receiving end of. It’s a sad documentation of the inane standards we have for each other as humans—surely the most vocal detractors would hope for more grace should they experience something similar. • GJ
Words by Luke Nuttall (LN) and Georgia Jackson (GJ)
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